Looking back on The Life of Angelynn: Chapter 2017 – hellllah change. The good, the bad and the ugly, which has ultimately led me to a lot of *adulting* lessons and realizations. Today, I finally feel 100% true to myself and here’s why.
Over the past few months, I have been able to reminisce, reflect and be thankful for all of the great blessings that have happened in my life. The wins, failures, friendships and challenges – they are all lessons we face along the way that shape us into the people we are today.
In saying all of that – I am sharing my story as this experience has led to a positive shift in my life. It has helped me become closer to being the best version of me – grounded, confident, happy, healthy, mindful and kind; which is what I realized I needed to focus on, from here, I believe everything else will come.
So let’s dive in.
1. First off, moving to Calgary was a dream come true. I landed (at the time) my dream job with Hockey Canada, moved across the country on my own and was forced to put my big girl pants on. It opened my eyes and I learned so much. However, when it came down to it, I was missing my #1’s. I missed my family, I missed my friends and I missed my dog. Some of you may not know, but I’m a family person, so I knew this day would eventually come. Did I think it would come just 2 years of being away, not sure, but I do know near the end, I found myself extremely down in the dumps more often than not. I didn’t feel my happy self, I felt like I was living in a toxic environment, I was negative and I allowed my emotions take over. To the point where I felt like I lost sight of who I was – it was a domino effect going in the wrong direction. This feeling made me truly appreciate my #1’s and the support/comfort they provide me. The point of this part of my shift, was realizing who you are surrounded by and the environment you put yourself in plays a huge part in your life. Yes, it is good to get out of your comfort zone, experience new places, new people and independence. But your tribe, the people you really trust, who support you, who lift you up (and vice versa), who you laugh at stupid shit with; they mean more to you than you think. Since moving home, I have rediscovered myself and more importantly, I’ve rekindled friendships from the past and made new ones; and I know for certain, I will never take advantage of the people that TRULY care for me.
2. Adult Friendships. Speaking of tribe… 7 years into my 20’s I’ve come to some conclusions about friendships.
- Quality over quantity, hang on to the ones you trust and let go of the ones you don’t.
- Some friends won’t stick around forever but they were meant to be in your life during that period of time, so let it be; cherish those moments and move on.
- A dying friendship does not mean that dislike is a factor, sometimes relationships just fade and that is okay.
- Not everyone will like you but that doesn’t mean you are less loveable. Don’t get worked up over it and definitely don’t change who you are to please those people.
- Don’t fake it with frenemies, if you feel someone isn’t a true friend (you are probably right), don’t stress over their loyalty, let them go and don’t think twice about it. I’m telling you from experience, the fake friendship isn’t worth all the inner bitterness and turmoil.
Don’t be afraid to let go of a friendship and remove yourself from toxic situations – it will hurt at first, but I promise, you will soon feel a sense of freedom and start to focus your energy on bigger and better things. Getting a handle on this adult thing is already challenging. Facing these challenges with people who truly love and support you, make you smile, and bring absolute joy to your life can be extremely easy, if you let it be.
3. Trust the journey. Where you are right now is where you are meant to be. I found myself saying this but not really meaning it. Until I actually took a back seat look into my life and realized it is 100% true. I used to dream about the things I have now done in my life, without even realizing I was accomplishing anything. The people that have walked in and out of my life, the up’s and down’s; it’s all for a reason. Celebrate where you are and make the most of it. Don’t get caught up in your past (mistakes and fuckups are OKAY) and don’t get too caught up in the future. Just be present and enjoy right now. If you want to make changes in your life, good on ya, nothing more attractive than someone who has ambition. Make small changes and steps towards what you do want, send out positive vibes and it will happen. Conclusion: trust that you are on the right path and don’t let confusion and failure divert you from your happiness and goals.
We’re defined by what we’ve learned and the people who helped shape us into the women and men we are today. The product of who we become is a powerful sum of maturity and lessons learned.
4. On the note of trusting the journey, we need to understand that we are in control of our life and our happiness. Every day you wake up, you have the choice to be happy or to be miserable. If you are unhappy at work or unhappy with your appearance, don’t be the person to complain and not doing anything about it. You are in the driver’s seat, how you choose to live is only up to you and it will in fact reflect every other part of your life – from the way you treat people to the decisions you make. If you make a shift in your mind and CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY, watch the magic happen.
5. Drop the negative talk. You may be sending out negative vibes more than you think. I recently read a blog post and it challenged the reader to drop the negative talk for a week (this includes negative talk about yourself, others and in everyday life). I avoided engaging in negative conversations and paid close attention to my thoughts – this forced me to think before I spoke and reconsider my words. After turning this “challenge” into a way of life, I feel happier, full hearted and optimistic. My whole demeanor changed. I smile more, I am more approachable, I feel people gravitate towards me, and I feel less anxiety and less jealousy; because I am no longer practicing meaningless negativity. Talking bad about other people translates to a focus on negativity and living life through a pessimistic, judgmental perspective. And when you even dare to speak badly about yourself “I can’t”, “I’m so fat”, think again. Our brain is so powerful – what you put out there is what you will start to believe. Self-talk can dramatically improve the quality of your life. Think before you speak. What will this sh*t talking bring you? Focus your energy on empowering yourself and others around you and I guarantee you will become addicted to the feeling.
6. Health is wealth. Treat your body like it’s the only thing that matters. If there is one thing in the world we can control, it’s ourselves. The difference I feel when I am at the top of my health game both physically and mentally vs. careless eating and lack of exercise is immensely different. I feel alive and full of energy when I am living the healthiest version of me and I truly feel I am capable of achieving more than if I was living lazy. Here are my simple rules to living healthy: exercise, eat veg and fruit, meal prep, drink water, take your vitamins, laugh and get outdoors. Without good health you have nothing. Does this mean I skip on pizza and vino? Hell no! It’s all about balance – have the right intentions around healthy living, but don’t be afraid to treat yourself!
The bottom line is that learning about our past, both good and bad experiences, is knowledge and wisdom that carries on throughout our life. As young adults, we are constantly learning more and more about ourselves. By having these (difficult at the time) breakthroughs, we are able to clear our mind, and create an even clearer vision. For me, this past year was about growing through what I was facing, and I can honestly say it’s led me to what now feels like my world’s flourishing!
Keep maturing, keep growing and don’t forget to have fun. Life is better that way!
Health & Happiness.. Always,